I have decided on my retirement date! I’m going to turn in my notice on November 24th and my final day will be December 5th. I probably won’t work much, if any, of that time, because November 24th is the Monday before Thanksgiving, and I’ll probably take that week off. I may also take the following week off because I have so much Paid Time Off (PTO) that I won’t get paid out since it’s basically sick time that isn’t payable upon resignation in Texas. I do plan to use all of my PTO before my last day, which is common for this company.

I talked with Chris this afternoon about the fact that I am always so tired these days that I literally don’t do anything I find fun anymore. I haven’t done a lot of quilting, cross stitch, machine embroidery … basically anything that I find fun. Every time I think about doing something fun, I’m just so tired. My house is a mess, and while I’ve never been a great housekeeper, I have never left laundry on the couch for two months, before now. Just looking at the pile gives me so much anxiety, and I’m pretty sure that at this point, it all just needs to be re-washed.

I don’t sleep, I can’t relax. I never unwind. It feels like I’m living in a blender that’s on high, and I can’t get out. It’s constant pressure. I’m tired, I always have a headache, and I’m so, so stressed. It’s time to move on. I told Chris about it, and he said that he started to see a change in me with the thought of my job moving to a different city. He looked at me and said, Why do you care so much about this job, when you’re not going to be there much longer? I’d told him last week that they were trying to give me yet another project to deal with at work, and I just don’t have the capacity to take it on. I am already stretched thin, and I’m always on edge. He told me to do what I can and to tell my manager or anyone else when they try to give me more work, I just do not have the bandwidth to take that on at this time.

And you know, he’s right. What’s the worst that could happen to me? I won’t be there for annual reviews next year. I’m not trying to get a raise. I don’t want to be promoted. I want to retire. Just retire. I don’t plan to be there past the end of the year. Don’t worry about ridiculous projects and all the other crap. Do my job. Do it well. Retire. That’s all I need to do.

It was hard for me to pick a date, and I’m not sure I would have done it, if Chris hadn’t told me that he’s also looking forward to me retiring. He knows I’ll be less stressed and overall happier than I am now, and what he says he really wants is for me to be happier.

So … 126 days until November 30th, and 117 days until November 21st, my likely last day in the office. I can hardly wait!